


The Fallen Child

by NamakiTDR



Series: The Two Broken Souls [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Chara is Female, Other, Spoilers - Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 14:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9445976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamakiTDR/pseuds/NamakiTDR
Summary: Prequel to basketofspirit.tumblr.com





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Undertale](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/258761) by Toby Fox. 



**A/N**  
**As the author, it is my responsibility to put content warnings.** **If** **you prefer no spoilers, then ignore the list below.**  
**1- Physical and sexual abuse**  
**2- Child neglect.**  
**3- Alcohol abuse**  
**4- Bullyism**  
**5- Sexual harassment**  
**6- Use of marijuana**  
**7- Smoking**  
**8- Gore**  
**9- School shooting  
10- Self harm and suicide attempt**

I woke up in my bed. In the same bed I wake up in every morning. Waking up in the same life I wish I didn't have.

My alarm was always so loud. But I didn't mind, as long as it woke me up. As usual, I lifted my torso by pushing on the bed to shut off the alarm, the blanket sliding down from my head to my shoulders in the process. I always sleep on my stomach with my blanket covering every inch of me. That might be weird, but oh well. I sat up and stretched my arms and legs, letting the blanket slide off of me in the process. After I finished stretching while sitting, I stood from my bed and stretched my arms and legs again.

I walked over to my bathroom, and turned the light on. After turning the light on, I took a look at myself in the mirror. I sighed when I felt my long, cinnamon-colored hair.  
_Maybe it's time I got a hair cut._  
Glancing away from the mirror, I removed my pajamas. I don't like looking at my body. After taking my clothes off, I took a quick cold shower. I love the cold. Eleven years ago, I was born on a cold day. The coldest day my parents ever experienced. So it's natural I'd be drawn to the cold. After I got out of the shower, I dried myself off with my towel, and before I could leave the bathroom, I accidentally caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. And because of that... I couldn't stop looking at myself for a while.

The scars on my arm... the bruises around my neck, shoulders, and arms... it always made me so sad to see this. I never wanted something like this.

Before I could go too far into despair looking at myself, I bared my sight away from the mirror and went to my closet full of turtleneck sweaters. I couldn't wear anything that revealed the bruises, I didn't want anyone at school to know...

As usual, I slid on a sweater and wore jeans. While walking out of my room, I took my backpack from the chair next to my bed. I started walking toward the exit of this apartment I live in, and on the way, I came across the usual. Mom was nowhere to be found, and dad was sitting on his chair watching TV, drinking his alcohol. Once I put my hand on the doorknob, something caught the corner of my eye. I looked in the kitchen, and saw my little brother. "Dad, you can't at least feed him yourself?" I asked my dad while I walked into the kitchen and picked up my four year old brother.

He leaned to his right to give me a stare. "Don't take that tone with me." He demanded sternly. "You're the one who takes care of him. Why don't *you* feed him?"

"He's your son, and it's your job to take care of him." I said while preparing a small bowl of cereal for him.

"You're the one that's always making meals, always feeding everyone, so you feed him." He said while leaning back into his chair.

"Then I guess your job here is to sit on your ass all day chugging bourbon and whiskey." I mumbled while pouring the milk in the bowl.

I'm guessing he heard me somehow, because he threw one of his empty glass bottles at me, which broke over my head. "I told you not to take that tone with me, young lady!" He shouted. "Do you want me to go over there right now!?"

I stayed quiet while my little brother started to cry. "N-no sir... I'm sorry..." I apologized while going to my bathroom with my brother as he cried to treat my fresh wound on my head. I sat him on the counter before taking the first aid kit. That's when I noticed why he was crying. A small piece of glass impaled his shoulder.

I sighed while bending over a little to get on his level. "Hey, hey, Will... I'm gonna do something, but it might hurt a little bit." He started to calm down, and only responded with sniffles. "But you have to be strong about it, okay? Can you promise me that?"

He nodded, sniffling again.

"Good. Now remember, you're a superhero! Nothing can hurt you!" I said in a playful tone, which made him smile. I quickly took the tiny piece of glass out of his shoulder. "See? That didn't hurt at all, right?"

He nodded with a smile. I ruffled his hair and kissed the top of his head. "You'll eat your cereal in a bit, I just have to take care of something first. Is it okay for you to wait just a little while?" I asked with a soft voice. He nodded in response. "Good." I smiled. I looked in the mirror and moved my hair around to find the cut I was looking for. I took a cotton ball and dripped a small amount of peroxide on it to lightly tap the cut with it.  
_Hopefully, it doesn't start bleeding in the middle of class._  
I took Will back to the kitchen and gave him his bowl of cereal.

After that, I left for the bus stop.

I love Will so much. To be honest, he's probably the only thing that kept me alive. I couldn't just leave him to be with my dad.

When I got to the bus stop, the bus was already leaving. _Fuck_. I ran alongside the bus and knocked on the side, begging the driver to stop and let me in. The other kids on the bus saw me through the windows. They opened the windows only to laugh. All of them. They all just laughed at me. Once I was exhausted, I had to stop running. I watched the bus go farther ahead as I was catching my breath.

 _Well, that's just perfect_... I was already half way to my school, and according to my watch, I had another 50 minutes to spare, so I walked the rest of the way carefree. Once I got to the high school (yes, I'm an eleven year old sophomore), it was the usual. Teens are all over the cafeteria during breakfast, some are making out, some are actually eating, some are playing video games on portable devices, etc. Then there's me. "That one eleven year old." I don't have anyone to hang out with, so I always sit alone.  
During breakfast, I sat by myself at a table and rested my head on my arms. And all of a sudden, I felt someone tap my shoulder. Startled, I quickly turned to the person behind me. As I turned to this person, he slapped a bread with jelly onto my right cheek. They laughed while running back to his friends. I peeled the bread off of my cheek and looked at it. Everyone laughed. As an attempt to ignore them, I walked to the bathroom to clean up. While rubbing soap and water on my cheek to get the jelly off, I heard girls giggling around the corner. I ignored them, and focused getting the jelly off of my cheek. _Why grape jelly? They could've at least used apple jelly instead. At least it would've been a jelly I like_. After I finished, I heard those girls walking around the corner. Because of my anxiety, I panicked and hid in one of the stalls. While the girls made their way to the exit of the bathroom, one of them looked in the mirror, and let out a groan of frustration. "Ugghhh! My eyeliner isn't even!" She said. So they stopped to retouch their makeup. There were three girls. I'll just refer to them as A, B, and C. A is the one who complained about her eyeliner. While hidden in one of the stalls, I overheard them talk about me. "She is so self righteous." Girl C claimed. "Right? She probably thinks she's so much smarter than everyone because she's a fucking eleven year old sophomore. So annoying." Girl A agreed while adjusting her eyeliner. "She always rubs it in people's faces when she aces a test. Which is every test. I wish she didn't even exist." Girl B scoffed. "What are you talking about? She doesn't even talk to anyone." Girl C asked. "She doesn't have to say anything for me to know she's mocking me when she gets an A+ on a test..." Girl B postulated while crossing her arms. "Since today is Friday, we should do something before the weekend's over." Girl A suggested while finishing up her eyeliner. "Well, I..." Girl B started while they walked out of the bathroom. Can't tell what they said next, since they weren't in the bathroom anymore. I walked out of the stall with a heavy sigh. I left the bathroom only to find someone stole my backpack. _Like my day couldn't get any worse..._

Somehow, I managed throughout the morning without my notebooks.

During lunch, I sat in my usual spot. Outdoors, right next to the door to the cafeteria. There, I ate a sandwich the chef usually prepares for me since I'm a vegetarian and most of their food has meat. While eating, I took the time to do one of the many things I love- to draw. I was drawing Darth Vader, which isn't easy. Then, something I definitely didn't expect happened. Someone walked out and walked over to me without any bad intentions.

"Hey." He said while handing me my backpack. "My friend stole this. Sorry about his behavior, he's immature as hell." He gave me a kind smile. Something I've never received from anyone other than Will.  
I hesitantly took my backpack from his hand. "Th-thank you..." I stuttered.  
"No problem." He answered while sitting next to me. He placed his hand out for me to shake, but my first impression was hostility, so I leaned away from him quickly. Then, he smiled. "I'm Lucas." He said.  
Then it hit me, he's greeting me! I'm so stupid. I awkwardly shook his hand.

After that, it was quiet.

He broke the 2 minute awkward silence. "Usually, you'd say your name and say 'nice to meet you.' I mean, I know your name already, but it's common courtesy. Not sure if you knew that." He teased.

I couldn't help but apologize. "I-I'm sorry."

"That's okay," he reassured, "it's nice to meet you, though."

"Likewise." I said a little fast.

He pulled out a pack of gum, and put a piece in his mouth. Then, he leaned the pack toward me. "Want some?" He offered.  
I didn't want to be rude and decline, so I took a piece into my mouth.

After another long awkward silence with only chewing, he broke the silence again by blowing the gum into a bubble, and popping it with his teeth.

"H-how do you do that? No matter how it's explained, I can never do it." I asked.

"Blow the gum into a bubble? That's easy." He said before shifting his jaw around. "So, you want to cloak your tongue with the gum like this." He instructed before sticking his tongue out to show me. "Then you want to blow raspberry- you know how to do that, right?" He asked. I nodded in response. "That's all there is to it. Try it." He said.

I tried it, but it didn't work. He chuckled a bit. "You're cute."

His remark made me blush, and I timidly looked away.

"How old are you again? Eleven?"

I nodded.

"I'm fourteen. Freshman. From what I hear, you're a sophomore. How's that?"

I shrugged. "Basically like any other grade. You just learn new things. Guys who sit next to me still like to... feel me up." I looked away a bit.

"Did you tell a teacher or something?" He asked.

I nodded. "But they told me that I'll eventually have to deal with it. And I did. I don't really care anymore if they do that."

"That's not a good thing. It's not right for them to do that..." He pouted.

It's fine--" I tried to reassure him, but he interrupted me.

"It's not." He retorted.

The school bell rang. Lunch is over.

"It was nice talking to you." He said while standing up. "We should hang out after school. What do you say?" He suggested.

"U-um... sure..." I complied.

After school was over, I waited on the stairs in front of the school, waiting for Lucas.

While I'm on my phone, browsing through social media and hate comments/post directed at me, Lucas just hugged me from behind a little roughly while shouting "Hi!" Thinking I was being attacked, I screamed and squirmed.  
"Whoa, calm down, it's me." He said. I looked back at him and calmed down a little. He let me go, then sat next to me. "I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that. My bad." He chuckled.

"I-it's okay." I reassured. "Where are we going?"

He pointed at the store across the street from the school. "There. It's a pretty cool place to hang out."

"A Walmart?" I asked.

"Trust me, it's a lot more fun than it sounds. Let's go." He held my hand and ran to the Walmart.

This was... odd. Usually, I'm grabbed by my wrist and not my hand. I felt... happy?  
We went into the Walmart. "Let's get some snacks, first." He suggested. We went to the lines next to the cashiers where all the sweets were. I instantly grabbed a Hershey's bar as soon as I saw it. He let out a soft laugh. "Like chocolate?" He asked.

I nodded. "I absolutely LOVE chocolate!" I said with a wide smile. "Although I prefer crunchy ones like Twix and Kit-Kat, I do really like the soft ones like Hershey's and Snickers, too!" I said before seeing a bag full of Take 5's and taking it quickly. "Take 5!! I love these!!!" My exclamations caused people to look our way. _I should just be quiet now._  
After buying all of the chocolates I wanted to snack on (Hershey's, Twix, Take 5, m &m's, Rollos, and Kit-Kat), he took me somewhere else. Behind the Walmart. And behind this Walmart, there were four other teens smoking marijuana.

"Hey, Lucas, why'd you bring a little kid?" The only girl in this group asked, pointing her marijuana at me. "She's cool, trust me. I thought she might need something to help her be a little more chill, so I brought her to you guys." He explained.

"Hmm..." she hummed before she gestured for me to come to her. I walked over to her. "What's your name?" She asked. I told her my name. "Pretty name for a pretty girl." She said before holding her weed in front of me. "Try this." She insisted.

"U-um..." I hesitated.

"Look, if you wanna be friends, you need to try this. I don't wanna be friends with someone that's not chill enough to try this." She retorted.

_Well... I do need more friends..._

I gulped before hesitantly reaching for the marijuana. But before I could take it, she pulled it away. "Good to know you're willing, but now... now you need to tell me why you think you need it." She said.

"B-because... I need fr-friends...?" I answered unconfidently.

"That's not what I meant. What's life like at home?" She asked. "What do you need to forget so bad that you'd result to this?"

I looked away, sweating a little.

"If you can't trust me enough to tell me about your life, we can't be friends."

 _I don't want to pass off this opportunity._ "W-well... I... I have a little brother... he's four... and his name is Will. And... I really love him." I started. I clutched my sweater before continuing. "He's... the only person who... in my family who cares about me... my mom, she... she hates me so much. I don't know what I did wrong, but... sh-she tells me I was the biggest mistake of her life. That I should've never been born. She often ignores me. Neglects me. Especially when... when my dad is... hurting me... and I call for her, I look to her for help, but she... she just stares at me... she hates me so much..." I finished.

"... Your dad... how does he hurt you?" She asks.

"U-um..." I didn't know what to say.

"Just tell me." She demanded.

 _I don't want to lose a friend I don't even have yet._ "He... during the day, he... he's always burning cigarettes on me. He... picks my up by my waist and throws me. He um... he punches my stomach and my a-arms. H-he always strangles me first, though..." I lowered the turtleneck to show the bruises. "So the neighbors don't hear me scream..." my eyes started to water before I continued. "And at night, he... [sniffle] he comes into my room, and he... ever since I was seven, every night, he... he..." I couldn't say it. I didn't know how.

"What does he do?" She asked in a forceful tone.

"He... he pins me to the bed... t-takes m-m-my clothes off... and..." I was on the verge of crying, and I couldn't even speak.

"He fucks you." She answered for me.

I stayed quiet.

She turned to the rest of the people in this group. "Hear that?" She smirked. "She fucks her dad."

"Wh-what!?" I was baffled. That's when I realized that none of this was real. Everyone came out of hiding because they couldn't help contain their laughter.

They were all laughing.

They all laughed at me.

Even Lucas.

This was a trap.

A trap set by those girls in the bathroom this morning. I know, because I could hear their voices.

"Oh, I didn't think she was THAT fucked up in the head!"  
"She's so awful, why is she even alive?"  
"Screwing her dad every night for the past four years?! You KNOW she's a whore if she does that!"

Everything was so loud, and so sudden, I didn't even realize I was sobbing.

My heart hurt so much.

Next thing I knew, eggs and rotten meat was being thrown at me.

Foods and drinks were being thrown at me by those who are laughing.

This is almost everyone in the school.

They all hate me.

_My parents hate me, and my school hates me. What's wrong with me...?_

After what felt like an hour passed of foods and drinks flying at me, they all started taking photos with their phones with the flash on.

Flash.  
Flash.  
Flash.  
Everywhere I looked.  
Flash.  
Flash.  
There were just bright flashes at me.  
The laughter... it was so loud...

_I'm so stupid to think I could have a friend._

Without even thinking about it, I just... ran away.

I ran home with tears streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't breathe right, but that didn't stop me from running.

As soon as I got home, I just ran to my bathroom and locked the door.

Out of breath, I desperately searched for something in the cabinet under the sink.

I couldn't find it. I roughly opened one of the drawers, and saw it. A container for ointment. But there wasn't any ointment. As soon as this container was empty, I put something else in them. Two blades.

I opened the container in a rush, just letting the cap fall to the floor. At this point, I was trying to take the blades out as if my life depended on it, but that was just cutting up my finger tips. Frustrated, I dumped the blades into the sink and grabbed one of them. I lifted my sleeve...

_I was so stupid to think I could have a friend. To think someone other than Will could care about me. I was so desperate for a friend, I didn't even stop myself to think about this. I already knew everyone hates me, but I could've prevented this..._

_Stupid..._

_Stupid..._

_Stupid..._

_Stupid..._

_Stupid..._

_I'm so... stupid..._

With more anger than sadness, I cut my arm with the blade aggressively, and stopped when I saw how much blood was on the floor. I don't know what I was thinking. I just threw the blade at the mirror, and sat between the wall and toilet, resting my elbows on my knees and crying into my arms.

_What's wrong with me?_

Then, I heard my dad yell my name. "You're supposed to make dinner whenever you get home, don't you remember, you fucking dumb shit!?"

After wrapping bandages around my arm, I went to the kitchen, only to be greeted by my father with a slap on my cheek. "Why the fuck did you not go to the kitchen when you got home?" I was about to answer, but he kept talking. "The fuck did you do?" He asked while lifting some of my hair that had an egg yolk on it. "Fucking disgusting, take a fucking shower first." He shoved me back into my bathroom and shut the door. I was so... perplexed. _What does he want me to do first? Cook or shower?_ I shook my head, and took a cold, relaxing shower.

After I walked out of the bathroom in a towel to get my pajamas before I started cooking, my dad was standing in my room with his arms crossed. And as usual, I shook heavily. "It should not have taken you that long to wash your hair. Even your mother does it faster than that." He scolded.

"I-it was really h-hard getting it all o-out of m-my hair..." I stuttered in fear of what he might do to me.

"That's not an excuse. You should've been out thirty minutes ago, and made something for us. But instead, your mother did that. She does everything in this house, and you won't even help her out." He said in a disappointed tone.

"I-I--" I was interrupted with a slap upside the head.

"Don't even give me another half assed excuse." He lectured.

I stayed quiet.

"No more smart comebacks?"

I didn't know what he wanted me to do. Did he want me to talk, or not?

"Fine, be that way, bitch." He said before grabbing a fist full of my hair. He threw me on to my bed, then unbuckled his belt.

I was so scared, I just curled up in the corner on my bed, shaking. "Pl-please... please don't..." I begged.

"Don't even cry, you fucking asked for this." He said while crawling on to my bed after taking his pants off.

No matter how much I begged and pleaded, he didn't have some sudden sense of sentimentality. Not that I expected him to...

_I hate this..._

_I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this._  
———————  
I woke up the next morning. Same routine as any other weekend. I just stayed under the covers all morning. I don't want to wake up... not yet. Please... not yet...

Around 10AM, I felt something nudge my shoulder, and calling my name. I recognize this voice- it was Will. "Wake up." He begged. I lifted the blanket a bit to where he can see my face, and he smiled.

"Oh no! The cuddle monster!" I playfully exclaimed before he crawled under the blanket with me and into my arms. He wrapped his arms around me and snuggled his face against my chest. I held him close and pet his blonde hair softly. My dad isn't fond of Will. That's because uh... well, he isn't my dad's. My mom slept with her boss, who has the same hair color as Will. When my dad saw that, he put two and two together.  
I always enjoyed feeling his arms wrapped around me. He likes to squeeze me as hard as his little arms will let him.  
Although I do really hate my life... I have to live it. For him. I can't leave him alone with my dad. If I'm not here to take all the beatings, then he'll surely turn to Will for that. I can't let that happen. I have to protect him. I have to.

"Will..."

He looked up at me curiously.

"I... I really love you." I said with a smile.

He smiled back. _I love that smile so much. I can't let that be ruined. I absolutely cannot._ "I love you too." He said sweetly.

After the perfect morning of cuddles with Will, I decided to do my homework earlier than usual since I had nothing else to do. While I was doing my homework, my mom walked in, calling my name in a stern tone. "Why does the living room carpet have egg stains?"

"U-um..." I didn't know how to explain it.

"Clean it up when you're done with your homework." She said while walking out of my room.

After I finished my homework, I went to the living room to scrub the stains out of the carpet. While on my hands and knees with a wet rag and roughly scrubbing one of the stains, I heard something drop. I looked to my left, and saw my dad on his chair. He had just passed out and dropped his beer bottle. After calming down from being startled, I continued to clean the carpet.  
An hour had passed, and I was only half way finished. I stood from my hands and knees to stretch all of my limbs. While I had my arms up, my dad wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me, and threw me onto the floor. I rolled onto my back to look up at him in fear.  
He knelt astride my thighs and put his hands around my neck, squeezing with all of his strength. Since my brain wasn't getting any oxygen, it was only natural for my body to at least try to fight back. I had one hand on his wrist, and the other was reaching for his face, but I couldn't reach it. There was so much anger in his eyes. So much rage. Every time. It frightens me a lot.  
After what felt like forever, he let me go, and stood up while staring down at me. My first reaction was to gasp for air. While catching my breath, he stomps on my stomach, then kicks my side, causing me to roll onto my shoulder. Again, I looked back at him with nothing but fear. I was terrified. I tried to run to my rom to lock my door, but he was always a faster runner than me. He grabbed me by my hair, opened the basement door next to him, and threw me down the stairs.  
Having to catch my breath while coughing and enduring all the other pains really sucked.  
When I landed on the concrete floor of the basement, I saw his wall of guns. He was in the military throughout half of my childhood, only visiting on my birthdays. He had finally left the military and came home when I was 7 years old... and that's when it all started. His drinking habits, his abuse... everything. Even before he came home, my mother always looked at me with disgust, like I've always done something so wrong to her.  
I heard his heavy steps on the stairs. Out of fear, I stood even though my leg was badly bruised. I desperately tried to get away, even though I knew there was no way out. My effort was proven useless when he quickly caught up to me and shoved me against a wall, then grabbed my shoulder to pull me closer, causing me to run into his knee.

After almost an hour of being beaten, he finally left me alone. He left the basement, and slammed the door behind him. I chose to stay in the basement, mainly because I was in too much pain to be moving at the moment. I just lied on my back, staring at the ceiling with the assist of a dim blue light coming from a small window.  
It's not that I was upset about this or anything, this was a normal thing for me. I'm used to it. The only reason I'm ever scared when this happens is because I don't want to end up dying and leaving Will alone.

After about half an hour, I was able to endure the pain enough to stand. I left the basement and got back to cleaning the carpet. My mom was waiting in the living room with her arms crossed. "Where were you? Why haven't you finished?" She asked with a stern tone.

"I-I... dad, he... I was in the basement." I answered.

"Because your father cornered you there?" She asked.

I nodded.

"He left the basement 30 minutes ago. You could've come back up sooner." She uncrossed her arms, letting her hands fall to her hips. She walked past me without even looking at me. "Such a disappointment..." she mumbled to herself.

Hearing those words, I no longer had any motivation to clean up the carpet. But I did it anyway to avoid another senseless beating.

Once I finally finished, it was 3pm. I was exhausted, and very sore. All I did was lay in bed and browse through the hate posts/comments directed at me on every social media. I didn't mind the comments. I mean, they're not wrong. I don't have any friends. Not really worth anything. I mean absolutely nothing to my parents or anyone at school.

But at least I have Will.

You could say he's my WILL to live! Ha!

Anyways, moving on, I spent the rest of the afternoon in my bed resting.

During the evening, Will came to my room happily and full of energy, repeating my name excitingly until he got to my bed. "Look what's on TV! Loooooooook!" He demanded while constantly nudging my shoulder.  
Carefully, I stood from the bed and went with him to the living room to see what's on TV. Star Wars. Basically my childhood!  
I LOVE Star Wars! Even the prequels, no matter how much people bash on them! I mean, there's no such thing as the perfect movie. I grew up watching these movies over and over. Memorized the dialogue word for word. Will sat on the couch and patted the space next to him, inviting me to sit with him. I gladly accepted his invitation, and sat next to him. He leaned on me, so I put my arm around him.  
I spent the rest of the evening cuddling with Will and watching Star Wars.

We were so happy...

The next morning, I woke up with a slight fever, so I stayed in bed. I checked my phone for a time- it was 8:00AM. Usually, Will comes to cuddle around 10:00AM. I made a mental note of that, then got a notification. I was tagged in something in all social media by more than one person. Thinking it was strange, I decided to check it out.  
Everyone who took photos of me as a mess with food all over me posted them and tagged me in them all. On every social media I had.  
Frustrated, I roughly placed my phone back on my nightstand, then pulled the sheets over my head.  
_I just want this to go away._  
I didn't even cry. I was just angry and depressed and in pain.

I fell back into a deep sleep.

When I woke, I was feeling a lot better. Deep sleeps usually help fevers. I checked the time. _12:00PM? Weird. Where's Will?_ I looked at my door to see if it was closed, it wasn't.  
Concerned, I quickly ran from my room to his room, no matter how shitty I was feeling.

I get to his room, and... he's in his bed. _I guess he decided to sleep more._ I thought to myself. But then, I noticed something...

He wasn't breathing...

I ran to his side, and noticed the bruise around his neck. My eyes were watering up. "Oh..." was all I could say. I crawled to his side in the bed, and cupped his face with my hands, tears streaming down my cheeks. "Oh..." I laid next to him, and started to sob quietly while petting his hair. "Oh... W-Will... oh..." I held him close, and cried quietly. I had no idea what happened or why it happened. All I knew was...

_He's gone... and I didn't even have a chance to say bye. Why? We were so happy yesterday... why did this happen...?_

I cried to myself and held him tighter.

I cried for 5 minutes.

Then those 5 minutes became 10.

Then those 10 minutes became an hour.

Then two hours.

Three.  
  
Four.

Even after I ran out of tears to cry, I still sobbed for another hour.

And after that hour... I recognized my objective.

_Figure out what happened to Will, and why. Then..._

I slightly smirked at the thought. I sat up from the bed, and kissed his forehead softly. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "I... wasn't here to protect you..." I said while holding his corpse. "But I'll make it all better. Even if it costs my life." I retorted, filled with determination.

I walked to the living room, where my dad often passes out drunk. Luckily, that's exactly what he was doing. After seeing him in the living room, I went to the basement and came back with three different rolls of duct tape.  
While he snored drunkly, letting his alcoholic stench fill the room, I used all three duct tape rolls to tape him to the chair. Once I finally finished, I heard my mom's voice, calling for my dad. "What on earth are you doing?" She asked while walking into the living room. She looked puzzled at this scenery. "... What's happening?" She asked me. I stayed quiet and stared at her.

She walked over to us. "What are you doing to your father?" She asked with a more stern voice. She looked for where she can start unwrapping the tape around him. While she searched, I grabbed my mom by her shoulders, and threw her against a wall. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" She asked, feeling her shoulder that bashed into the wall.

I gave her a simple answer. "You."

She then gave me a menacing glare.  But it didn't strike fear in me. Because I no longer have anything to live for anyways. "What has gotten into you?"

I stayed quiet, and walked to the kitchen to grab something. She did exactly as I expected, she tried to find where to start unwrapping my dad again. I left the kitchen with a frying pan, and struck the back of her head with it. After she fell to the floor, she turned to me. _Not a good thing if she's conscious._ I struck her with the pan again, making sure I knocked her out.

After binding her with more duct tape in her own bed, I walked back over to my father. On the table next to him, I saw his pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

As more ideas inspired me, I got more and more prepared for when my dad wakes up. And when he awoke, I made sure I was the first thing he saw. I sat in a chair that I propped in front of him. Next to me, I had pliers, needles, a drill, two socks, a soup spoon, the blades I cut myself with, one of his glass beer bottles, and a large kitchen knife with teeth. But, as I hoped, those weren't the first things he saw. The first thing he saw was me sitting in front of him, smoking one of his cigarettes. Took me a while to get used to without coughing, but luckily, I did before he woke up. "I can see why you smoke these. They do calm me down, which is good for you." I said after blowing smoke in his face, and before I put it back in my mouth.

"What the fuck is this!?" He asked, showing his panic through his struggling to get out of the chair. I leaned back and crossed my legs, taking the cigarette out of my mouth and blowing smoke. "Tell me, do you know the best places to torture someone?" I asked.

"... Stomach...?" He guessed.

I shook my head. "It's simple. You can target anywhere, really. As long as you avoid the fatal areas like the head and stomach. There are areas that are excruciatingly painful and not fatal, such as the shoulders and back. You can punch and kick those areas, or even put out a cigarette on them... just like what you do to me." I said while burning the cigarette on his knee. He was in pain, I could tell, he was trying to hide it. I then lit another cigarette and put it in my mouth. "... Why did you kill him?" I asked. "Why'd you kill Will?"

"What...?" He played dumb. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

I grabbed the glass beer bottle, and smashed it over his head. "Don't be stupid. You know exactly what you did."

He called for my mom's name.

"Oh, don't worry about her. She's occupied." I teased.

"What... what did you do? What did you do to my wife!?" He demanded to know.

"Like I said, don't worry about her. Anyways, back to the original topic... those were your hand marks around his neck. I know that because of everything you've done to me!!!!" I shouted while pointing at the bruises on my neck. I picked up the drill. "You don't think that by now, I wouldn't be able to recognize your fucking marks!!?" I held the tip of the drill against his throat.

"I didn't kill anyone!!!" He claimed, shutting his eyes.

_He probably thinks that if I believe he didn't do it, I'll just let him go... what a dumbass._

I knelt in front of him and held the tip of the drill against his right foot without breaking eye contact with him. "Confess." I demanded.

But he just stayed quiet. _Fine by me._ I stuffed the two socks in his mouth and drilled into his right foot. His muffled screams of anguish weren't loud enough to surpass the noise of the drill. After I drilled all the way through his foot, I stood and pulled the socks out while holding the bloody drill against his right thigh. "Confess!" I demanded.

"I swear, I didn't kill anyone!!" His statement didn't change. And because of that, I stuffed the socks back into his mouth and drilled into his right knee. Again, he screamed and clutched the arm rests of the chair, tearing up. About half way through his thigh, I decided I that I was bored of the drill. So, I pulled the drill out of his thigh, took the cigarette out of my mouth and burned it on his shoulder, lit another cigarette to put in my mouth, took the pliers, then removed the socks from his mouth.

"Confess." I once again demanded.

"No no, please, not again--" as he said this, all I could remember how no matter how much I begged and pleaded for him to stop, he didn't stop. So his begging doesn't give me any reason to stop. I stuffed the socks back into his mouth, then picked at the hole on his thigh with the pliers. He cried for mercy, but mercy is something I wouldn't give him. I refused.

After making the hole wider with the pliers, I took the socks out of his mouth. "Confess!!!!!" I demanded. "Please, please stop!!" He begged. I took the cigarette out of my mouth. "Stick out your tongue, and I will." I said. Without hesitation, he stuck his tongue out. I burned the cigarette out on his tongue. "Not." I added while stuffing the socks back in his mouth, the cigarette being buried under the socks. I knelt to him and placed the toenail of his big toe on his left foot between the jaws of the pliers. He shook his head, begging me not to through the muffles and cries. But I ignored his plead for mercy. I removed all of his toenails with the pliers. He clenched the armrests so hard, his fingers started to bleed. He was crying. When I was done, he passed out from the pain.

I sighed. "Pussy." I taunted him. "I've taken worse than this from you." I stated while sitting back in my chair, crossing my legs and smoking. I patiently waited for him to wake up.

Eventually, he did. "Look who's back!" I stood from my chair. His eyes widened, and he shook in fear. "Awww, what's the matter? Are you afraid?" I giggled. "Well, I guess now you know how I've felt for the past four years because of you!" I gave him a kind smile. I removed the socks from his mouth. "Care to confess?" I asked while leaning toward him. "HEEEELP--" he called for help, and again, I stuffed his mouth with socks, then burned the cigarette out on his forehead. I looked out the windows, then turned to him with a smile. "You called for help... but nobody came." I teased.

I lit another cigarette to put in my mouth, took the needles, and walked around him to where I stood behind him. Without any warning, I impaled his shoulder with one of the needles. I hummed "you are my sunshine" as I continued to inject needles all over his back, no matter how much he screamed. Once I ran out of needles, I took the socks out of his mouth. "Confe--" I was interrupted with a confession. "I killed him!! I killed Will!!!" He cried.

The smile from my face quickly faded, and I burned the cigarette off on his shoulders. "Why? Why would you take away the only thing that made me happy? Why would you kill such an innocent child?" I interrogated.

"He... he was... crying... and he wouldn't... stop..." He said, trying to hold on to consciousness. "He was so fucking annoying... and I couldn't take it..." He admitted.

I stayed quiet for a while.

"So you'll stop...? You'll... let me go...?" He asked.

"... For the past four years, I put up with your shit. I put up with your beatings. I put up with you every night. I put up with you, because I knew that if I didn't exist, you'd target Will. My reason for existing... was Will. And you took that away from me... my efforts were so useless. I was just your play thing. I know you went through a lot in the wars, but goddammit, that is not an excuse for you to do the shit you've done." I started to tear up, and my voice cracked. "You only cared for your own pain, and didn't even think about how your actions are affecting others..." I wiped my tears while sniffling. "It's a shame. You confessed sooner than I hoped." I pouted as I walked to the table of tools I was planning to use on him. "I wanted to have more fun. Especially with this." I said while picking up the soup spoon. Then, I smiled a carefree smile. "Well, looks like I'll just have to use these on mom instead." I picked up the knife and stood behind him again.

"What...? Don't you fucking dare hurt her--" he was interrupted with me placing my hand on his forehead, and he flinched. "... You fucking psycho... you're not my daughter... you're... a monster...!" He said through heavy breaths.

"I'm only the monster you made. I'm not gonna apologize for this. Why should I apologize for being this way when no one has apologized for making me this way?" I asked.

"I--" I interrupted him by dragging the teeth of the knife across his throat, slitting it and letting his tainted blood freely flow from his body. I listened to his gargling, him trying to breathe. It was so... funny... to hear him try to grasp at life like it's all he has. Even though he doesn't have one. Not anymore, at least.

Then, I walked to my parents' room, where my mom remained on her bed, her hands and feet tied to the frame. She was still unconscious, and I chuckled at the sight of it. With me, I brought the soup spoon, the blades, the socks, and the knife. I got bored of waiting for her to wake up, so I dumped a bucket of freezing water on her. She gasped awake, looking around the room with paranoia on her face. "What? Where am I? What's happening?" She panted.

"You're worse than him. You know that, right?" I asked.

She just looked at me. She looked at me with the same look she's always given me. "... Why are you so damn bloody...? ... What... did you do...?"

"I trusted you when I was just a little kid. And I still am a little kid. When I was born into this world, and you held me in your arms... my only choice was to trust you. On my seventh birthday, when dad first took me in my bed... I trusted you to stop him. When he started beating me... I trusted you to stop him. But you just watched, as if I deserved what I was getting. You let him kill one of your children, and you don't even bat an eye." I scolded.

"Untie me, you little shit. Don't talk to your mother like that. I gave you a roof over your head- food on your table. I gave you a life." She lectured.

"No, you're wrong. You did give me a place to live, yes. But I always made the food. You didn't give me a life, you gave me hell and a reason to live it, but you just let your dickhead of a husband take that away. And... you're not my mother. Mothers are kind, they care for their children and don't ever want to see them in pain. They love their children unconditionally... but not you. You never loved me. And after all of those days hoping I'd somehow get your approval and forgiveness for my existence, that dream was shattered. I remember... the first time I skipped a grade, I wanted to show you my report card. I was so happy, thinking I was going to finally make you thankful I'm alive. But when I showed you... you just threw it in the trash. While it was still in the folder. You didn't even care enough to look at my progress." I teared up.

"What was I supposed to do with a piece of paper?" She asked.

"I don't know! But it meant a lot to me!! Maybe pin it to the fridge?!! I don't know!!!" I shouted while waving the knife around. Then, I sat on her lap. "The point is... you're far from a mother. Watching your kids suffer and not even lift a finger to help... being a bystander and just watching the damage occur is worse than doing the damage yourself." I stuffed the socks in her mouth, then took the blades and cut her with them all over her arms and thighs while listening to the miraculous sounds of her screams. "This is what I've been through!! This is what's been happening to me!!! And you know what?" I leaned in close to her, our noses almost touching. "I'm just not gonna do a thing to stop it." I finished cutting her up with a final deep cut on her inner thigh.  
"Already tearing up? Come on, it took a lot more than that to make dad cry. Anyways, I found out I get bored using the same objects over and over again, so you don't have to worry about me doing what I did to dad to you." I said while tossing the blade away, then I smirked. "Instead..." I picked up the soup spoon and held it close to her eye. Her eyes widened, and she started to sweat.  
She turned her head away, shaking. "Come on now.~ Say 'ah'~!" I commanded  while moving the spoon closer to her eye. Since she kept trying to dodge my attempts of scooping her eye out, I punctured her pupil three times before I got it to the right place. I dug the spoon under her eyeball, and she looked at me with tears ready to slide down her cheeks. "Don't be a baby," I said, "it's a privilege to be able to see your child with love and happiness... and it's a privilege you lost." I pressed down on the spoon with little strength, making sure I make progress slowly. No matter how much she screamed, I didn't want to stop. In fact, I wanted to hear her scream more. I wanted her to feel excruciating, agonizing, exquisite, grueling, harrowing, intense, searing, severe, unbearable despair and pain.  
Once the eyeball finally came out of the socket, fluids and blood splattered on my face. But I didn't care at all. As a matter of fact... I embraced it.  
Her eyeball hanging from her socket by the optic nerves... made me incredibly happy.  
"I must say, I'm impressed you were able to stay awake this whole time. I'm glad you didn't pass out like a little bitch like dad did." I said before taking the socks out of her mouth. "Say... how does it feel? Knowing that your own daughter was willing to mutilate you?" I asked in an innocent tone, remaining on her lap.  
She didn't speak, she just panted. I understood she was catching her breath, so I patiently waited. Patience is one of the many virtues I most definitely have.

But I waited.  
And waited.  
And waited.  
And waited.  
But nothing happened.

I sighed in disappointment and grabbed the knife. "I'm getting bored of you now." I said while slowly pushing the knife through her neck. "Sweet dreams, mom." I said softly. "Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite.~" I recited as her life left her only eye.

 _I just... killed both of my parents..._  
I got off of the bed and looked at my mother's lifeless body.  
_No doubt I'm gonna face the consequences. Since I'll eventually get caught, I might as well do more than just this..._  
I gave my new idea a devious grin.

I went to my bedroom, and laid back in my bed, not minding the fact that I'm getting my bed bloody. There's nothing I wanted more than to lay in the blood of my life long torturers.  
But... as I stared at the ceiling... I heard something.  
The laughter.  
The voices of those who talk about me at school.  
These voices are definitely not my own.

My thoughts are dark and red, and I am stained inside. If I stop now, there'd be nowhere for me to hide from the sins I feel crawling on my back. It's too late now, I'm too far gone.

I feel myself... changing... with every move, I am changing. With every thought, I am changing. With every breath, I am changing. With every blink, I am changing.

_... Maybe change... isn't such a bad thing after all. Not when it feels this good..._

I woke up the next morning from my alarm. I shut off my alarm, then sat up and stretched, letting the blanket fall from my head to my hips. I stood and walked to my bathroom, and found my reflection. My body was bare, but cloaked with my parents' blood.  
I rubbed my hand against my stomach, spreading more of the blood. _I can't go to school looking like this..._

I took a shower, got dressed into a yellow sweater with two brown horizontal stripes on it and brown jeans, then went to Will's room. "Will..." I started. "Those bad people we lived with... the ones that took you away from me... they're gone now. But... there are still more bad people I need to get rid of. And... I'm probably gonna die like you did for what I'm going to do. I want a better world, but I know that isn't possible... not as long as the human race exists. So... this is probably goodbye." I leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Remember... I love you. I always will. Never forget that..." I whispered as my eyes watered.

I left the room, then headed straight to the basement, where all of the guns were...

When I arrived at my school, standing in front of the cafeteria entrance... I took a deep breath.

I kicked open the door, grabbing only a few people's attention, and pulled out the 9-Millimeter from one of the pockets in the long jacket I wore, and shot the person closest to me with it.  
Everyone screamed.

They all ran like rats trapped in a cage. The only place they could go without passing me were the bathrooms and the kitchen. Despite the kickback, I was able to withstand it just fine.  
I kept shooting until I eventually ran out of bullets. While reloading, someone tackled me. Lucas. He tackled me, grabbed the gun and magazine, stood up to aim the gun at me... but by the time he stood up, I already had a python revolver against his crotch point blank. Without hesitation, sentimentality, or pity, I pulled the trigger.  
He fell to his knees, covering his crotch and crying. I then placed the barrel right between his eyes, and splattered his brains with a simple pull of the trigger. I put the revolver back in my jacket, then picked up the 9-Millimeter. "Thank you for reloading this, my 'friend'." I said to Lucas' corpse.

Teachers came running into the cafeteria. "What the hell is going on here--!?" A teacher was interrupted by me shooting him. Without any sorrow, or any feeling of emotion, I shot the rest of them down.

It was as if I had completely turned off my sympathy at this time.

Knowing exactly where I could find those three girls, I saved them for last.

I reloaded my backup revolver in case someone is able to take my 9-Millimeter.

I went into the kitchen and shot everyone in there down.

I went to a few of the classrooms and shot everyone in them.

I ran out of bullets for both pistols, so I went outside to the suitcase I prepared and took a shotgun. After cocking it, I went back inside. First person I saw... the principal. "Please, stop! There's no reason to do this!" He cried out.

"... No. Every reason I have is a good enough reason. There's no way you were oblivious to what everyone was doing to me... you're just as bad as everyone else." I shot him in the stomach, then walked over his body as if he was a piece of garbage. _All of you had this coming..._

After going to more classrooms and killing everyone, after going to the boy's bathroom and killing everyone in there... I went to my final destination. I cocked the shotgun, then went into the girl's bathroom... where girl's A, B, and C hid.

They couldn't hide from me. There's no way I could leave them out.

"Please, don't do this!" Girl B begged. I shot her brains out.

"No, please don't!!" Girl C pleaded. I shot her in her chest.

"Please, stop... you're... I'm sorry... please, stop... you're scaring m-me..." Girl A cried.

"... You should be." I retorted. "Goddamn right, you SHOULD be scared of me!" I laughed while pulling the trigger... but it didn't shoot. It clicked.

Seeing this as her only chance of survival, she grabbed the barrel of the gun and shoved it so the butt of the gun hit my chest. I backed up into the sink, and she swung the shotgun at my head. I crouched, wrapped my arms around her waist, and threw her down.

She tried to reach for the shotgun, but I kicked it away before she could. 

She stood, grabbed me by my shoulders, head butted me, then threw me against a wall.

She grabbed my shirt again, and punched me in my face.

I spat in her eye, causing her to turn away in disgust. I took this opportunity to grab a fistful of her hair, and bashed her face against the sink twice.

She was able to resist the third attempt and grabbed my hand that held her hair, digging her nails into my hand. _This bitch doesn't know I can't feel pain anymore..._ I stomped on the back of her knee, then shoved her onto her back. I picked up the shotgun and banged it against her face with the butt of it. I couldn't stop. It was too fun for me to stop.

I left the school cloaked in blood.

I heard sirens.

I knew that was my cue to leave.

I ran, and I ran fast.

I was running far away.

Somehow, I ended up in a forest.

I stopped to catch my breath after hours of running.

I looked back to see if anyone was following me, and it's a good thing I did, because I saw a S.W.A.T. team searching in the forest, and I didn't want to find out what they were searching for.

I ran over to a mountain. The sign for the mountain read "MT. EBOTT."

Not thinking much of it, I ran up the mountain, and hid in a cave. I heard the S.W.A.T. team run by. They were definitely after me.

I took shelter in this cave until dark. It wasn't until then that I saw the big hole. I walked over to the hole, and stared down into the abyss.

 _If I'm going to die... I'd rather it be by my own hand. I don't want to be killed by others. Not humans, not from hunger or thirst. This weekend... I learned what humanity is really capable of. And I want no part of this race..._ I hovered my foot over the abyss. _I'm coming, Will. We'll see each other again very soon._

I let myself fall.

_Then again, maybe not. We might be going different places. I committed genocide, and I'm not ashamed of it one bit._

**A/N**

**Holy cow this was fun to write!! Although it is a depressing backstory for the fallen child, I enjoyed writing this. And in case you didn't notice, I had a few song references. Chara by Mandopony and Control by Halsey. I always thought they suit this character very well, and I look forward to work with this character more! I always felt drawn to her... anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Stay tuned for Chapter 2: The Pacifist Child.  Until then! That's all, folks!!**


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